And yet the Internet is a good thing! Although dating
through special sites turned out to be of little success (the need for
preliminary meetings on neutral territory, the psychological problems
associated with this, when you are either rejected or you are forced to
tactfully refuse someone, etc.), these sites helped me find a kind of
intermediary, who brought different guys to visit me. A strange person was this
intermediary Max! He studied at a college, was a non-resident, rented an
apartment, suffered from lack of money, but found a very exotic way to earn
extra money: he knew that straight people and Caucasians were in demand and, in
order to catch them, he wrote his mobile phone number on the walls of public
toilets and mentioned certain activities like suck dick, give in the ass, lick
ass, etc. The calculation was correct, because who does not need it, will never
call. So the method worked. A good method, because otherwise many meets simply
would not have taken place, since these people would never have crossed paths.
So Max began to bring different men to visit me. One of the first people he
introduced me to was Rizvan, a man in his thirties, originally from the
Caucasus, but who had been living in our city for a long time. Small in
stature, with a kind face and a pleasant accent. The main thing that I liked
about him was his openness and sincerity. He immediately, already at the first
meeting, while sitting at the kitchen table, told everything about himself -
what nationality he is, what village he is from, who and where his parents and
brothers are, where he used to live and where he lives now, where he works and
how much he earns. He didn't hide anything. Rizvan was already married, he
rented an apartment in the city, he had a boy, then three years old. However,
he and the whole family were registered in the region, in the house of some down-and-out
people.
My age no longer allowed me to feel free and relaxed. Before his arrival,
everything had to be thought out and taken into account, everything had to be
prepared - the lighting in the room, some kind of music, and many other little
things. The good thing about people from the Caucasus is that they don't really
understand our age. But still, at first I had to avoid situations where my age
could become known to him.
For almost a whole year, he came to me in this way - like an “escort” and like
a friend and a kind and caring person at the same time. When his wife left with
the child for a long time to her homeland, I suddenly, unexpectedly for myself,
suggested that he move to live with me. I remember how many critical remarks I
received from my acquaintances and friends - “you are crazy”, “how can you live
with someone in the same apartment!”, “how can you live with a person from the
Caucasus!” etc.
Time has passed. Everything worked out for the best.
How strange that all my life I strived, suffered, traveled the whole world chasing
some kind of illusions and moments of dubious pleasures, and only in the middle
of the second half of my life, let's say, I found what I was looking for. And I
was looking rather just for the presence of a man, a masculine spirit.
I can’t even say when it was better - in that youth, which everyone praises so
much, but which was associated with severe suffering and eternal lack of money,
or now, when everything is there, there is money, a loved one is nearby, but my
world is no longer as multi-colored as before.
But so far so good. And then ... no one knows.